Title: Full Metal Superstar
Pairing: Ling/Ed
Rated: PG-13 for drunken silliness
Comments: OOC-ness and utter nonsense. Written for theme #7: superstar, at 30_kisses.

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“Liiiing!”

Ling cringed as Edward’s drunken cry-shouted an octave higher than the blond’s normal pitch-reached him from the within the house. He turned on his heel and made for the hedges.

Al’s heavy grip fell on his shoulder, keeping him in place.

“Ling!” Winry burst from the house onto the backyard where Ling and Al had sought refuge from the bedlam inside. “Come in and shut your boyfriend up!”

Ling’s face scrunched up in distaste. Another howl rang from inside.

“Don’t touch me! I am the Full Metal Alchemist! Liiiiiiing!!”

Everyone could hear the ensuing crash of Edward’s dignity plummeting through the floorboards.

Winry gave Ling an expectant glare-never mind the fact that Ling was the emperor of Xing-and pointed an imperious finger towards the house. Al pushed him from behind. He considered digging in his heels and fleeing but one childish display from a top government official was more than enough.

He squared his shoulders and marched himself into the house.

Less than a second after stepping into the living room, a blond bundle flew against his chest…and then something hard-as in, automail-hard-slammed into his shin.

“Where were you?” Ed shouted, alcoholic fumes assaulting Ling’s nose even as tears stung his eyes from the pain in his leg. “They’re trying to manhandle me! Me!”

“Um…Edward,” Ling said, trying to sound as placating as he could under the circumstances. “How about we take a nap?”

He began to lead the blond from the room, the Mustang Troupe breathing a sigh of relief behind them, when Ed sprang out of his grip.

“I am not tired,” he said, voice slurred and dilated pupils staring angrily up at Ling.

Ling looked over at the others for help. Roy had his back turned, intently studying some books on the wall. Riza had disappeared with Black Hayate and the others were feigning temporary deafness. He sighed.

“I think you should rest,” Ling said, reaching for the blond.

Edward shoved at him and nearly lost his footing. “Don’t tell me what to do,” he hissed, a thin stream of spit lacing his chin. Ling cringed. “I am the Full Metal Alchemist. I’m practically a superstar!”

Ed swayed precariously forward and Ling grabbed for his shoulders before the shorter man could topple over.

“I really think you need to lie down, Edward.” Ling’s fingers dug into his shoulders even as the blond tried to push him away again. “Edward Elric, I am ordering you to come with me!”

Ed stilled, squinting up at Ling’s determined face. His cheeks flushed even darker. “I love it when you talk like that,” he breathed before lunging forward.

Ling stumbled backward, his head hitting the doorframe. Ed flung his arms around Ling’s neck, mouth latching clumsily to Ling’s as they both slumped to the floor in a tangle of limbs and hair.

Winry nearly tripped over them on her way in. “Oh for…Ling! That is not what I meant by shutting him up!”

The end.