Title: Just Another Day In The Life Of Sawada Tsunayoshi
Rated: PG-13
Pairing: Not quite GokuderaTsuna (5927)
Summary: Written for kubinashi. This was meant to be TYL!59×27…but I had no goal in mind when I started writing and then it spiraled into nonsense and I failed utterly >_>;; I hope this is an okay substitute >_>;;;

–

If there was one thing Tsuna was (because the list of things he wasn’t would probably be too extensive to cover in any thirty day period), it was rational. He had always understood what he was capable of (nothing) and took the necessary actions to either avoid things or suffer through them until he could return to being an unremarkable dent in an unremarkable parking meter.

And then Reborn had come along, with an army of mental ward escapees, and life had never quite been the same again. They hadn’t just broken the parking meter; they’d uprooted it, dragged it by a chain behind a speeding semi, dropped it off a hundred foot cliff and then dusted off the broken glass and said, “Here, have a band-aid.” Except then the band-aid was naturally swiped by Lambo, who would add it as the crown piece to his odd collection of string, lint, and half-chewed gum.

There were many things Tsuna would one day throttle Reborn for, the least of which was making him think in terrible metaphors.

Now all of these, despite the occasional wistful sigh, were actually things Tsuna had long since come to terms with. Lying to himself was something he’d never been very good at (but, as stated above, Tsuna had a hard time pinpointing anything he’d ever been good at) and, weekly concussions aside, he was grateful for the friendships Reborn’s appearance had led to. There were times, however, when the simplicity of being dame dame Tsuna was sorely missed.

Like now.

Tsuna: running full speed, not aided by any dying will bullets, the stitch in his side a painful hindrance, his tie whipping him in the face as he ran for his life from Reborn’s latest team-building exercise. The concrete to his left exploded and he shrieked—yes, shrieked, because Tsuna and dignity had never been on very good terms.

Lambo: laughing maniacally some ten feet away, somehow keeping pace with Tsuna and waving his bazooka wildly, shouting “Run, run, as fast you can! You can’t catch me, I’m Super Amazing Unbeatable Metal Cow Lambo Man!”

Gokudera was just a step behind him, shaking fists full of dynamite at Lambo and muttering a string of curses that later, Tsuna would recall and store for future moments of extreme duress like… plotting how to overthrow a major rival mafia family while dressed in knickers and a tutu and how had Reborn talked him into that one? Extortion had been involved, he was sure.

“Shut the fuck up, you stupid cow!” Gokudera made to light a stick of dynamite and Tsuna really, really wished he wouldn’t do that because there were plenty of other things blowing up at the moment and he wanted none of them to be himself. “This is all your fault!”

“Gyahahaha, Tsuna sushi, Tsuna sushi!” Lambo flailed happily, chips of sidewalk in his hair.

To Tsuna’s horror, Lambo’s grip on his bazooka slipped and the stupid thing went soaring through the air, Tsuna’s eyes tracking its end-over-end tumble until it landed squarely on Gokudera’s pale head. He disappeared with a resounding pop. Tsuna skidded to a stop and dove behind the nearest vehicle in case Reborn had not yet satisfied his quota for Reckless Lambo-Induced Violence for the day.

“Gokudera-kun?! Are you okay?” Tsuna called as the smoke cleared. A taller, more distinguished looking Gokudera stepped out from the hazy cloud, pale eyes narrowed warily until he spotted Tsuna huddling behind the fender of the car.

“Juudaime!” A smile lit his face and he hurried over, crouching low to meet Tsuna’s eye level and completely ignoring Tsuna’s wide-eyed look he’d meant to convey as ‘Do not engage!’.

“Hide, Gokudera-kun, hide,” he hissed. He latched onto Gokudera’s broad shoulders and tugged him down hard, unbalancing them both and sending them sprawling against the curb. A sharp chin rapped his forehead, his knees knocked into well-dressed thighs, and he was suddenly chest-to-chest with a fully-grown Gokudera.

Aside from the curb digging a trench into his back, Tsuna’s first thought was that adult Gokudera was really heavy. He gave a muffled squeak before whispering, “Gokudera-kun, I can’t breath!”

Gokudera immediately scrambled off, apologies streaming from his lips. Tsuna lay still against the concrete for a moment longer, groaning, before Gokudera took him by the shoulders and propped him back up. Vertigo was such a bizarre feeling.

“Juudaime, what is it? Who’s attacking you?” Gokudera’s brows had narrowed and his face grew dark in preparation for homicide. Tsuna gave a frantic wave of his hands.

“No, no, it’s just Reborn on a rampage,” Tsuna said before pushing to his feet and peering cautiously past the curve of the windshield. Reborn was nowhere in sight. His shoulders slumped in relief. “I hope Yamamoto and the others got away.”

“It looks clear, Juudaime,” Gokudera said. He strode out into the street, dusting dirt off his sleeves and straightening the lapels of his suit.

Of course, it was at this moment in which safety had just been restored that Tsuna heard the ominous rumble of Reborn’s approach and a rocket came streaming down the street, aimed directly at Gokudera who was bent over, cursing at the scratches on his belt. Tsuna leapt across the road, his small frame slamming into Gokudera’s larger one as the rocket whizzed passed. The blast threw them both into the side of a van, Tsuna’s narrow shoulders cushioning Gokudera’s head from cracking against the metal.

Another thing to blame Reborn for—his sudden penchant for saving people. Not that it was a bad thing generally but, as Gokudera rained him with praises and jostled him to and fro looking for injuries, Tsuna bid a grumpy farewell to ‘rational’ and stalked off to murder his tutor.